Listen. It's cool that you personally know God and/or Jesus. But seriously, why would He pick you? Cmon.
I could legit eat a fucking diner breakfast platter...
Reboot, here goes nothing!
Time to upgrade the home server.... Hope for the best!
The wife is on the way home. I'm texting her constantly for take out. She is apparently having none of it. Chicken again boys.
I picked a bad Sunday to start drinking.
@kmart93 Aka the best night ever.
RBonner_ Gotta start throwing at the heads of the home run hitters!
This game was a lot of fun, like, 10 minutes ago.
Yikes. Thank God I bet the over.
Sorry bud, we Americans don't know what a fortnight is.
That's not a strike.
That 3rd base coach is way smarter than the #Phillies guy.
First inning, PA chases the starting pitcher.
That's as small as small ball gets.
This game feels like I'm watching that movie Gung Ho.
Feels like a loss.
Apparently this kid will be a future #Phillies pitcher.
Make us proud boys. #PA
That dude with the dreadlocks is awful. #Eagles
Lol what kind of defense was that? #Eagles
Well that's a good way to get yourself killed.
GOT EM! #Phillies barely get out of that alive.
#Phillies are killing me.
38 points in the first half. Not bad. #Eagles
Barner untouched, #Eagles TD.... but a flag...
Run Maehl run! #Eagles
WOW what a screen pass!
Heh wow that was pretty ugly. #Eagles
Woohoo 1st down!
And another flag.
Butt fumble is the worst.
No hold on Logan though...
Wooo Celek lives! TD #Eagles!
Let's be honest, the #Union just aren't very good.
Doink, no good!
Well fart, what was that?
Jesus christ we can't kick extra points.
#Eagles pick 6!
Suck it, no catch.
Really? Challenging a play in the preseason? Cmon man, wtf.
Defense is pounding. #Eagles
Beautiful float pass to Sproles. TD #Eagles
Murray leaving a lot of meat on the bone. #Eagles
HUGE return on the opening kick-off! #Eagles
That's an awful card. Wtf Ref? #Union
Sweeney gooonneee! #Phillies
With the way my bottle and cans recycle bin looks, you would think I was running a bar out of my basement.
Goodnight #Phillies fans.
Francour HOSE. #Phillies
Wooo onto the 13th. #Phillies
Chocolate Thunder died?!!?
Did Bowa say you can eat my tit? I couldn't tell. Seems like it. #Phillies
rob_aden Yall make the playoff one year and think you run shit.
Wait, what? #Phillies
"Look Dad, I'm 2 years older!" Cmon kid, that's a scale.
@jasondaub I see what you did there.
@jasondaub It's certainly starting to seem so.
Emily, my 7 year old daughter, is asking if babies come out of the mama's butt. Wow this is going south fast.
Whew. #IronPigs win 7-4 after giving up 3 runs in the 9th.
And now the #IronPigs are falling apart in the 9th.
Well this fell apart really quickly. #Phillies
I hate sports.
1 play. 2 seconds left. Sweet lord my heart. #Soul
HE BLOCKED IT! #Soul
terilyns68 So the Soul is about to let us down just like every other Philly team.
Cmon #Soul, please stop with the suck.
This #Soul team just imploded.
The #Soul look bad. Just very bad.
TD for real this time!
TD Tebow! #Eagles
Chip arguing with the lineswoman. Giver her hell Chip that was bs!
Goooooaaaalllll! Le Toux! #Union
Ruf too! #Phillies
Aaannndd a fumble.
Gotta dump the ball Timmy. #Eagles
The #Eagles have way too many white dudes with long hair.
Why is the kicker wearing a glove? #Eagles
That's a flag. He was sliding.
There he goes again!! Touchdown! #Eagles
Totally Sanchezed that one. #Eagles
Love this offense! No jabber jawing, get up and give the ball to the ref. Next play, keep rolling. Love it. #Eagles
Jesus Christ with the flags. #Eagles
Oh good, Acho looks gimpy.
ColinHumphreys (that’s why they got rid of Shady)
Piece of cake, Murry untouched for the TD! #Eagles
Oh good, Butt Fumble is in. #Eagles
Nice throw Flacco! #Eagles interception!
TD stands! #Eagles
And another flag.
Heh. OK, take him out take him out. #Eagles
That's dirty pool. #Eagles
Hey, an interception! ##
So hey, the #Phillies!
daub.me/p/99c5e - Man on man. Clank two bowls together and the whole clowder swarms.
#Soul playoff tickets purchased!!!
Watching the #Eagles replay. Man Sanchez is a really, really terrible passer. Shits not even close.
Safely landed in Philly.
And just like that, our #Disney trip is over. On to the airport...
The fact that Sebastian Bach is on Trailer Park Boys just makes it all that much better...
Btw, my Farmer's tan is absolutely amazing.
Vacation is almost over. Nothing left but to pack up and fly back to Pennsylvania tomorrow... #Disney
daub.me/p/09744 - 1 more Small World.
daub.me/p/521c2 - More Small World.
daub.me/p/91e0f - Small World. The last ride of the trip!
daub.me/p/86ab1 - Spooky cave on Tom Sawyer Island.
daub.me/p/a0cc3 - Zurg!
I see the #Union are off to a good start again.
@jasondaub Florida sucks.
@jasondaub What kind of contest?
Humidity will be the end of me. I'm seriously worn out. #Disney
I see the #Phillies are back to their usual awesomeness.
Hey Parkey, you are killing me. #Eagles
Tebow is a gunslinger! #Eagles
Argh auto correct. The #Eagles are losing. Panic!
The #Eagles ate losing. Panic!
I really guess I should go to bed...
Oh no, we suck again! #Phillies
Never fails. Another trip to @WaltDisneyWorld and the AC in my room dies. Again.
daub.me/p/0e8fa - Cuttlefish are cool.
I just got to see a dolphin poop, so I have that going for me...
daub.me/p/24986 - Lionfish.
7 hits and not a single run? Cmon boys. #Phillies
daub.me/p/1d60f - Mr. Ray from Finding Nemo!
daub.me/p/348f2 - Maybe a nightcap. Or 3.
daub.me/p/29045 - Fireworks! And lasers!
daub.me/p/ecdfb - Matty's favorite ride is Mexico.
daub.me/p/6820c - I think this kid is hitting the Jagermeister.
daub.me/p/86e2a - Now that's a horn.
daub.me/p/f0cf7 - Oktoberfest time. Ohhh baby.
We had to stop while they apparently rebooted the Monorail. That's a first. #Disney
daub.me/p/a892e - Princess Castle from the back.
daub.me/p/883ee - A manatee and his salad.
daub.me/p/6e1e3 - Lots of Nemos.
daub.me/p/ac186 - Hello. Names Bruce.
daub.me/p/a3d70 - On to Epcot.
Open Cup finals headed to Philly! #Union
Le Toux goooooaaaalllll! #Union
End of the 1st half, nil nil. #Union
daub.me/p/e3033 - Darth Vader!
daub.me/p/b0eba - Matty found The Terminator.
daub.me/p/c5949 - Time for Muppets!
daub.me/p/baa76 - Friggin video game just had a Windows error.
daub.me/p/3c825 - Folks, I've seen the gates of hell...
daub.me/p/6a6e3 - A few toy soldiers.
Right in the wallet. Nice job, plunk the bastard. #Phillies
Worst inning ever. #Phillies
Another meatball pitch, another crushed dinner. FFS. #Phillies
I really hope Buchanan gets hit by a bus on his way out of town. #Phillies
Well that was a lot of suck all at once. #Phillies
daub.me/p/ef43a - That's a lot of birds.
daub.me/p/d6599 - Black and Tan with dinner.
daub.me/p/89b3d - Both children are smiling!
daub.me/p/b9cae - The top of Spaceship Earth.
daub.me/p/2f9d4 - The Tree of Life.